Forbidden...Always the Best Kind of Love

This is something that I've kept quiet about for a long time. A story idea I had; however, I guess I thought it was too much like Twilight.    


           I just stood there, all frozen up just like a statue as he inched closer step by step. I adjusted my eyes on the floor, avoiding his puppy dog stare that melted me in an instant. I could hear his breath reach out to me, and I contemplated looking up at him, but if I tried it, I knew I'd be hooked into his eyes and I'd be lost in swirls of milky blue satin.

            His arms slowly made their way to my hips, locking my silhouette against him. His cool hands tilted my chin towards him, and I tried to keep my eyes glued to the sight of the gravel-like cement floor.

            After two minutes of peace, his words broke through the barrier of silence.

            "Why do you avoid me?" His words stung.

            "I didn't avoid you. I needed time to think things through." I let out quickly.

            "Think what through exactly?" I quickly glanced at his eyes.

            "You and I, it just doesn't make sense. You are not human and you could kill me at any second."

            "You know I can't hurt you."

            "You can, you may not want to, but it has been controlling you for over four hundred years. You can't stop it. The Need is too great, and eventually, it will overpower you."

            I started to tug away from him, moving as quickly as possible, preparing to run away, as he pulled me closer to him and smiled. Immediately, those eyes pierced into my soul and he held me up, for I was floating on a cotton cloud.

            After about ten minutes of just getting lost in his eyes, I came back to reality. Placing my feet back on the ground, his arms pulled me in even closer to where I could smell the cinnamon in his mouth. My lips tingled.

            “How can you say you will never kill me?” I inquired. “What proof do you have?”

            He looked up as if considering something before placing his eyes back on me. “I don’t have any proof…except for the love in my heart.” He kept a serious gaze.

            “Do people like you even have a heart? Not to be rude, but do you?” I babbled.

            “You tell me.” He placed my hand on his heart, and I listened to the fast beat pumping. He tilted my chin back up once more, and I melted. His lips grazed the top of my forehead and planted a kiss there. Next, he kissed my cheek. And then all at once I was floating. He kissed my lips sincerely, and I knew with certainty that this was love.

Here Goes Nothing

"I guess I'm ready now to start. I'm gonna start all over." Well it's time. School begins tomorrow and I am super psyched with a little bit of nervousness. I don't really know a lot of kids in my classes, I am not sure where the child developement class room is at, and my locker is at the end of the abyss. Ha figuratively speaking. I have all the supplies I should need, got new clothes, printed out a schedule, and even prepared myself mentally. I am just not to thrilled to be the new girl all over again at this school. Yes I do know some people...but not nearly enough. But I guess it starts all over again. And for any readers that like my blog...I'm gonna post a short story on here later today...so stay tuned in!

Another Blow Strikes Hard

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; And for everything you gain, you lose something else." My life doesn't seem to know the meaning of happiness. Just last night I found out that my special person got out of the hospital for the second time this month. And I feel like that absolute worst person in the universe for not being able to be there for them. I wasn't there either times. I know it's the feeling of helplessness...but honestly I never knew that I could feel so bad. It's like getting punched over and over again until you're knocked out and gasping for air. Everytime I think about it...I feel my heart slowly cracking. I wish I didn't feel this way. I do care about this person...and that's the problem. I wish I didn't care, but the thing is...even if I didn't have feelings for this person...he's still a good friend and I would still be hit repeatedly by the blow of helplessness. It's something I cannot escape from. And it's tearing me apart. I just need to go back to dance and school and get my mind off things. I just wish I could talk to someone who understands....

Talking to the Moon

"At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself talking to the moon. In hopes you're on the other side talking to it too." The moon, one object... many different views. I mean different people look at the moon and they see different things. While one person may think that it is just a celestial body that comes out as the sun goes away, another may think that it is a reminder of hope through a struggle. Personally, I think that the moon is a little ball of magic that comes out everynight to remind everyone that things will ultimately turn out alright. It reminds us that everyday has the potential for beauty. It is poetic to me, and I know I'm not the only one who feels its magic. Somewhere out there, someone is talking to it right now. Perhaps its an old man enjoying his last moments, or a child wondering how it can stay in the sky and not move, or even a widow who connects it with the love of her life she lost...knowing that it held magic for them...and it still holds magic for the child she is carrying in her womb. For many people, the moon brings memories, and holds some of the best ones. I know a lot of my memories contain the moon, and I will always acknowledge its magic. Next time you look at the moon, take a glance at its beauty.

Coulrophobia

"Coulrophobia: it is quite simply the fear of clowns." I've had this phobia ever since I was little. Maybe it was simply from the movie It by Stephen King. But it seems like it's so much deeper than that. Like if you see those obviously fake-looking clowns that perform at parties or at the circus, they spook me too...just like clowns that have been written as killer clowns; however, they scare me more...go figure. And as long as I can remember they have scared me. But it seems as though lately all I have is nightmares, usually involving clowns of some sort. Waking up...all scared and looking around the room...being afraid to turn the lights off. All of these have affected my state of being recently...and I'm trying to figure out why. It's not like I've watched any movies or seen any lately...I refuse to watch clown movies...which is why this is confusing me. I really wish I knew why they fill my mind so much. I mean, wouldn't you want to know why you were scared so much? Oh well...maybe this will pass in a few days. For now...I don't see myself getting a whole lot of sleep.

Bad News Strikes Again

"Get well soon!" I knew this whole contentment thing wouldn't last very long, but like everyone else, I had hope. Yesterday, I found out that my special someone is sick. Not just sick like with a cold, but sick with some disease. And the doctors don't even know what it is! That's so bogus! This person recently got out of the hospital due to this illness...and it was scary for us both, but just when we both thought all was getting better...this bomb hits us in the face. Turns out this person did get better, but it's all coming back. I'm sure this person is scared, but they spend all their time trying to calm me down, because this person is really important to me...and I'm scared too. So any prayers would be greatly appreciated. I'm not ready to lose this person, but with not knowing what happens next...I could be getting another blow to the chest. And I don't need another one of those.

Start All Over

" No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again." I've come to the dicision that this year, I am going to make a clean start. Using these guidelines...I will make this year a good one.
1. Don't let what people judge get to me.
2. Confidence is key.
3. Join a new club/ group.
4. Make new friends, but don't lose the old ones.
5. Don't let anyone take advantage of me.
6. Forgive and forget the past.
7. Take a chance and do something to stand out every once and a while.
8. Smile more.
9. Never let fear/ shyness control my next move.
10. Make sure my grades are moy top priorities.
With these goals in mind, I will surely have a great year. I also want to get healthier. I am aware that I have a big bottom, but its out of my hands. Genetics gave it to me. It's my job to keep myself healthy. And that is what I am gonna do.

Contentment

"Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are, and when you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." Do you ever get the feeling that everything is all good for once? That your life is calm, cool, and collected. I've never fully experienced this feeling, but I am now. My life has finally reached a high point, and a point of contentment. My family appears to be calm. You see... my family is always hectic, with the coming and going, and the tension, but they have finally calmed down a bit. My special someone is amazing, as always. Getting better from an illness that the doctors still can't pin down. I'm not too happy about that, but I'm just happy to know he's better. My mind is at ease. If you know me, my head goes through about nine billion thoughts at once. Always trying to figure out what my next move is, but right now, I'm at peace of mind. My life is getting easier, and more exciting. And that is something that I couldn't be happier about. I start school next week, and dance as well...and I am ecstatic! Happy to see all my friends, and happy to be back where my days don't all mush together. Let's just say...I could really get use to this feeling if it wants to stay around longer. :)

Good Vs. Evil

"Good always conquors evil in the end." Good vs. Evil is a topic that is depicted very often in the entertainment we seek these days. And it all leads up to one question...Which one will win? In typical stories, good always wins. But in reality, evil seems to have the advantage. In the world we see today, evil keeps finding its way in. Whether it's the wars that call our youth to help keep America free, the terrorist protection this country seems to update more than it should be needed, or even every new weapon that hits the market. Evil has its way of making the world fall apart slowly. When will good truly conquer evil?

Falling in Line

"We live and learn to take one step at a time." Do you ever get the feeling that you're one step behind everyone else? That's the mood I appear to be in today. I keep doing things exactly the same, and it appears I keep falling behind little by little. I get this feeling a lot, and I guess I never fully comprehend why. Normally, I just forget about it and get back into my "groove." So I guess I will. Today, I get to go to a bridal shower for my soon-to-be-cousin. I'm pretty pumped. Thank goodness it's inside though; we have some black clouds that are rolling our way.

Conflicted

Have you ever felt so strongly for someone or something that it scared you? I don't just mean scared, I mean terrified. Scared that you'll lose it when you don't want to. Scared that things will go great until they meet a grand ending. And that is 100% true for me. I have this new person in my life, as you already know, and things are going great right now; however, I feel like something bad is gonna happen in the end. Whenever I'm really happy, it seems there is always something that happens to ruin it. But my goal is to remain optimistic and just let the chips fall into place as much as I can. In the words of one of my wiser friends..."I have the final say in my destiny."

Inkling

Do you ever get the feeling that there is something right in front of you, and you don't seem to be able to see it? This happens to me very often. People tell me I'm naive a lot, but that isn't it. I feel like I live in my own little world, and I refuse to let in disturbances. So when things pop up that I'm not familiar with, I have the tendancy to ignore them, or even shy away from them. Because if you personally know me, I am one of the most shy girls you will ever meet. And that causes some problems in my life, but I know just by the slightest inkling, that I will overcome it someday. That being said, I am working on it, but everything that needs work, must be worked on inch by inch.

Everything Happens for a Reason

Meeting someone new is always fun, and as you get to know them...you can't help but get excited. Excited to have them in your life, and excited to have a new person interested in your company. I am definately open to new things, especially when it means spending time with someone you like in a new way. My relationship with this person is gradually expanding, and it keeps me on the edge of my seat. Plus, I really care about them, but I can't help but wonder what will happen in the future. But I'll keep things optimistic.
After all, everything happens for a reason.

Definition of Misund3rstood

Definition of Misund3rstood:

The feeling you get when you feel like people don't get you or what you do. Happens to everyone, but as a sign of individuality. Like snowflakes, no two people are exactly alike.

Misfit

School is about to start back up, and I feel very disappointed. Sure I miss my friends, but going back just means being that weird girl all over again. I do have a lot of friends, and it's great and all, but I can't help feeling like a misfit. Maybe that's how I was born, because I am really good at it. I just wish that people weren't so judgemental. We live in a world where people never fully feel happy, and perfection is the dream. Some people work hard at perfection, probably more than you think, but others embrace their imperfections. I guess I want to embrace mine, but it seems really hard. And my life has enough complications as is.

Remember December

Remember December

The dirt is frozen, the ground covered

The wind is humming a familiar hymn that we know so well

The sky is gray and dark; the days seem shorter and shorter each second

This place is known as December.

It fills our hearts with joy and pleasure

Some adore it while some dread it, yet it is always acknowledged

It is the time of year that brings out the best, and the worst of many

But it is always remembered

Remember December.

This is my first piece on here. I hope whoever is reading this, likes it.

Start it Off

Ok, I have to admit that this whole blog thing was an impulse move. I guess I just wanted a place to unleash my creative thoughts and express myself. You know, without the judgement of family or friends. Trust me, I get plenty of that on a daily basis. So, this blog is not gonna be like a diary. More like a creative journal. Feel free to enjoy. No strings attached!